I think i have Depression, please only read 18plus and experienced.?

I am so sorry you are hurting so right now; You mentioned you were on a strict list of foods...are you Celiac? Or Fructose Intolerant? If so, and you are "cheating" on your list of foods that wont harm you; the intolerance's to food act as an allergic reaction, (imagine getting stung by a bee inside your body, where you cannot see it...and you are allergic, the swelling, the pain, the systemic reactions...when this happens, it causes poor absorption of nutrients in food, the needed vitamins and minerals that makes your body and brain work properly...this could very well be the cause of the insomnia, depression, IBS and tendency towards substance abuse, just to get a break from what your brain and body are dealing you. I would seriously suggest a Low FodMAP diet (Shepard) for a month or two just to see if this helps, of course testing for gluten/lactose/fructose intolerance is always an option, but those test are not 100 percent reliable...I tested negative and suffered for an additional 12 years until I went gluten free myself...now finding out about the fructose intolerance to boot!! When your gut feels better, you feel better...work on getting some sunshine to increase your vitamin D levels...low D causes much depression and insomnia! Think of your food restrictions like this: If I eat that, I will feel like crap...If I eat this instead, I will continue to feel good... That's why after you Truly become gluten free, you never want to touch it again...been there, done that, and I hope you do some Research into what you are eating that could be making all your troubles worse! Sincerely, hang in there, keep looking for answers, chin up...stay positive, be proactive, not reactive to the situation, ok?